less

I found something I didn’t know I was looking for, but now feel I couldn’t live without. It was something I daydreamed about but never seriously imagined I’d find so young. In my mind I had years to plan for it all.

Something is the wrong term, leaves it too ambiguous. I found someone, someone I love. It came suddenly and very awkwardly, but maybe that’s what I needed to get my head out of the clouds. And it’s grown, slowly over time (just as awkward though) to something amazing. Something I didn’t think I’d ever find, like I said.

But communicating with other people, from a Christian background. I can’t help but feel like they think less of me because I am in a relationship with a non-Christian. And it kind of makes me sad.

That sadness doesn’t make me doubt my relationship. I’m so happy. But it makes me question my place with people I inherently assume I’ll have common ground with. Which may be wrong in the first place. I don’t want to potentially lose those ‘friends’ but I know I can’t have it all…

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Silence

I’m surrounded by noise all day, it fills all my working hours and then follows me home in a very different form.

So it’s no wonder that I sometimes crave silence. The peace it brings me.

I’m not sure I know how to write anymore. But I’m moving towards a new adventure and I think it’ll become essential to write. My therapy once again. There to help me dissect and understand myself and the world around me.

I wonder if my world will ever be quiet… Will I ever know silence around me?

And would I even want it?