my first blog (ish, first serious blog) was called trying to find myself, all one word because I was SO cool. it was such a journey, teenage me had so many thoughts running around her head about who she felt she was, who she ought to be and who she really wanted to become. so, I wrote it all down – on the internet – kind of like an open diary.
so did I ever find myself?
well, all that soul searching taught me plenty of things, most of which I’m happy to say stuck with me. it really helped me see what I thought was important and why.
the best part of it was realising that I could love all the parts of my identity, and why it mattered that I knew my foundation. there are soooo many things (people, ideologies, products, companies) trying to influence who we are so we can help them in some way, it’s just how the world works and it’s not inherently good or bad. I am just happy that I now know where I won’t compromise, so I can remain ‘me’.
in short, I am confident in who I am, as a Christian who is black, an immigrant and female – and anything that requires me to be less of any of those things won’t get my time, money or whatever else they want.
queue a very smug 21 year old (me) who thought she had it all figured out already and the work was done… how naive!
finding myself was only part one of my journey, and I finally understand what part two is – understanding the contexts that bought me to where I am. I haven’t lived in a vacuum, things far bigger than my blog have influenced the path I ended up on. things like culture, my family, class, the education I received, the histories of the countries I’ve lived in and those I haven’t…
so I think that’s what this blog will be about at its core*, that’s what the next few years, maybe even decades, of my life will be about. and because I love reading and spending time with my head in the clouds I’m sure this’ll be a load of fun!
*of course, there’ll still be lots of fun stuff because I can’t spend all my time being deep!
photo cred: Suad Kamardeen